.. I had my very last doctor's visit before you were born ...
... I had lunch at McDonalds: ice cream, french fries, and a coke ...
... I didn't cook dinner because I wasn't feeling up to standing ...
... I read Liam a story knowing it was the last time our family would be a family of 3 ...
... I sat with Daddy's pocket watch on my big tummy, timing the contractions all evening...
... I went to bed knowing it wasn't yet time ...
... I woke up at midnight knowing that now was the time ...
... We arrived at the hospital at 2 in the morning...
... I welcomed a new day in to the sounds of a healthy cry ...
... first held you in my arms at 4:35 on that morning ...
I've enjoyed every one of the 365 days I've shared with you.
I am blessed to be your Mommy.
Tonight, as I held you for the thousandth time I tried with all my might to slow down time and attempted to grasp, for just a moment, how a period in our life is coming to an end.
You will never be as dependent upon me as you were this last year. You will never need me as much as you did. Some day you will not choose me to be the one you lean your arms for.
I smell your hair, attempting to memorize your scent. I look in your eyes and think that soon I will nurse you for the last time. These days are done and I'm sad that it's going to be just a memory. I sit here and I try to take it all in, right here, right now. I hold you a little bit tighter tonight.
But as I rock you back and forth, I sing to you,
"I'll love you forever,
I'll like you for always.
As long as I'm living
My baby you'll be."
And for some reason it means a little more tonight.
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